Start Again
by MaryAliceCullen1920
Summary: Six months after Edwards leaves her, Bella starts a new life in London. Two years later, one of the Cullens finds her. Add to the fact that Bella isn't who or what she thinks she is, and we have a huge problem on our hands.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey, I'm going to keep this short. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight, _but _I don't. Stephenie does.**

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'_I don't want you'_

Those words haunt me day in and day out. I hear them everywhere. _He_ doesn't want me. I get that, and yet my heart still aches and tortures me every second of every hour of every day. I fight so hard and _if_ I win the battle, there is still the war to face afterwards.

_'It'll be as if I never existed'_

His presence is everywhere: my mind, my room, my house, my truck, the school. What a useless promise. He existed, though he tried to hide it. He hid it well. Though, every time I enter my room, I feel as if something lingers.

I feel numb all over. My mind has shut down and my body is a shell. Outside you see blankness, nothing. Inside, the pain, despair, guilt, and betrayal all fight a war to make the outside show what is happening inside. Yet the outside still shows nothing.

My life ended the moment _he _left. I am basically not alive anymore, although, I sometimes hear words from the people around me that register in my mind and stick with me for a while. Words like catatonic, hospitalize, and Quileutes. Most of time, though, I can't focus on the people around me enough to listen because the pain makes it difficult.

It's been six months since he left me. I still feel numb. Charlie stopped trying to talk to me months ago. Renee and Phil were killed in a car accident a week after _he_ left, after Renee came to try to make me move in with her.

I woke up tonight screaming from my nightmares and gasping for breath. I somehow starting thinking about about my life and decided it was time for a change. I formed a plan that would take place next Friday.

If my plan worked, I would be in London, England by Saturday morning.

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**This is my first fanfic. Did I do well? What do I need to improve on? Please review. Thanks again for reading. =)**


	2. Truth

**A/N: Well here is the first real chapter of Start Again. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight, _but_ I don't. Stephenie does.**

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? POV

Anger: my own personal hell. I loved her all those years, and then she goes and cheats on me with _Edward_. Of all people, she chooses _Edward_. I should have known though, especially with my past. How could anyone love someone with a past like mine?

How could I hate a person that can read minds? I think of all the profanities I know, and all I get is a smug smile. After three days I was sick of it. I moved out thinking it's for the best. But now that I'm away from them, my love for her won't stop tormenting me, taunting me.

I had a feeling she loved him, that stupid little voice in my head warned me something was coming. I did not listen. Even before we left Forks I had a feeling this would happen. I remember Edward saying we were leaving for Bella's _safety_. Now I knew the real reason. He wanted to leave because he wanted to be free of a leash when he took her away from me.

I stayed after my family had left, staying near Edward but far enough away he wouldn't hear my thoughts. I heard what he said to Bella, and I saw what happened after he left. The night he left her was terrible. She started going after him, going deeper and deeper into the wet forest, and I stayed close to protect her if she needed it. She tripped so many times, finally just staying down hours after nightfall. She looked like she had become numb to the world.

About half an hour after she stopped, I could hear people calling for Bella. They were close so I knew she had heard them, but she didn't answer. Two hours later, I saw a gigantic, black wolf searching for something. I realized it was a Quileute, remembering the wolves from over half a century ago, and I ran away. I ran back to my family knowing that the wolf would make sure that Bella returned to her family.

After five months, I came home from hunting to find my wife making out with my brother. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. Put the pain of that, only to find out from my sister that my wife and brother had been in bed while I was gone. The pain I felt then was nothing compared to now. It intensified over the month I had lived here. I decided that I would live away from them, and then I would go back and see if I could handle it.

Now only two words rang in my head.

_Why me?_

**Bella's POV**

It was Thursday afternoon and I was just packing a few more things before I went to make Charlie's dinner for the last time. I had already set up the arrangements I would need for when I made it to London, so I guess I should do the proper thing and tell Charlie. I decided to tell him because even through these months he deserved better than a note after I had left.

I finished packing and walked downstairs to make his favorite dinner, Grandma Swan's recipe for stroganoff. I gathered the ingredients for the dish and started preparing his dinner, hoping the fact that I was already eighteen would lessen the blow my father was to receive. I loved him, but even he said I should not hold on the anything that would remind me of him. It was time for change.

After fifteen minutes I heard my father come through the front door.

"Hey Bells, what's for dinner?" He asked

"Stroganoff" I said quickly.

I walked into the kitchen then, probably surprised by my non-dead sounding voice.

"Uh, I'm going to go watch the game." He said, and then turned and left for the living room.

After five more minutes dinner was finished, and Charlie came in and started eating. I barely ate anything due to the nervousness that I felt, not that Charlie noticed, he just kept eating. Soon I just couldn't take it anymore, I pushed my plate away. That, Charlie noticed.

"Bells, is there something wrong?" Charlie asked.

"Actually, I need to tell you something," I replied.

"Okay, talk," He said.

"Not now, you finish eating," I bargained.

"No, I will not eat until you tell me," My father argued.

"Fine, but I still think that you need to eat," I said.

We walked to the living room in silence, me just trying to calm my nerves. I sat in the chair while he sat on the couch. I took a deep breath and started.

"Charlie, I'm moving to London," I said.

He looked at me as if I were crazy, "Excuse me?"

"Charlie I'm moving to London to get away Forks. I can't stand how everywhere I look I see him! He took part of me away when he left. This wasn't some kind of summer fling. This was more. He is part of me, and the pain he caused will never fade! I have to get out of here. How was I supposed to know that he never loved me? How was I to know that all the things he said, did, were forced? I can't live like this anymore!" I stated.

"Bella, why did you choose London? Why not somewhere closer, like the United States?" Charlie asked.

"Because if he had moved on from L.A. then I wanted to live somewhere that he wouldn't go," I said sticking to the plan his family had left.

"Bella, you can move after school lets out," Charlie said reluctantly.

"Charlie, I'm leaving tomorrow," I said quietly.

"No you are not! You will stay here until school is over and then you are allowed to leave!" Charlie yelled.

"No! Like I said earlier, I can't take it here! I have to leave! All the arrangements are already set," I explained.

"Well, then go cancel them. You are not leaving!" Charlie said.

"Charlie, I love you but I need this. This will help the pain. I am eighteen and am a legal adult. If you want me to stay, then I have a feeling that the pain I feel now will only get worse and will lead me to suicide as a relief. Then, when I'm dead you will only blame Edward… for causing my death, but it wouldn't be his fault because I gave you an alternative a month ago!" I yelled.

"I said no and that's final," Charlie said.

"Fine!" I practically screamed.

I ran up to my room, slammed the door, and locked it. He had practically said he would rather I died I was getting out of here one way or another. I had a plan and it needed to be done right. I had rented a Datsun 1600 and hid it in some bushes a couple blocks down the road. Since Plan A had failed it was time for Plan B.

I looked out my window to see my dad disabling my truck. Good, Plan B has commenced. Now to wait until Charlie is asleep.

It was midnight, and I was ready for anything. Thirty minutes ago, I had gone and gotten the Dansun, and now Plan B was almost complete. I walked to the kitchen and left a note on the counter, and then said my farewells to the house that I had come to call home.

Finally I grabbed my bags from the living room and went out to the car. I put the bags in the trunk before getting in and starting the car. Without a backwards glance, I drove away from the life that had kept me prisoner for so many years.

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**Who do you think the mystery Cullen is? Did I do well with the fight between Bella and Charlie? If I get at least five reviews, I will post two chapters this week, otherwise, you will have to wait until next Wednesday. Please review. =)**


	3. Mystery Person

**I'm sorry for the long update. This one is really short but you find out who the mystery Cullen is so I hope that makes up for it. :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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*2 Years Later*

**? POV**

It's been two years since I left the Cullens. Two years since I moved to London. I had gone to Forks to see if Bella was okay, but when I got there Charlie was talking on the phone with a friend named Billy about Bella running away. Bella was the only person who would understand this pain, and she was gone without a trace.

I didn't want to sit in this house with nothing to do, so I decided to go get some new books to read. I love walking around London, it just calms me down.

I walked into a store called Safe Haven Books and was assaulted by a very familiar scent. No, why would she be _here, _in London? There's no way that's her.

I believed these thoughts until I saw her standing behind the check out desk.

Bella.

**Bella's POV**

It's been two years since he left me, two years since I ran away from Charlie. It felt good to get away from Forks. I had colored my hair a dark auburn color and put in black streaks, but other than that I hadn't changed much. I had gotten over Edward a long time ago.

I heard the store door close and looked up. I only saw a flash of lightning from the storm outside. I went back to my book.

Twenty minutes later, someone brought books to be checked out. I looked at them and saw that they were civil war books.

"Not many people buy war books, much less the American Civil War." I said while scanning the books.

"You could say that it has been one of m interest for a long time." A male voice that sounded like velvet said while paying for the books. I looked up to hand the books to the person and saw the same golden eyes I remember but this person had honey-blonde hair.

"Jasper?" I gasped.

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**Me: Wait, the mystery Cullen is Major Jasper Whitlock Hale?**

**Jasper: Yup.**

**Me: Why are you in London?**

**Jasper: You have to wait and see.**

**Me: Fine. **

**Jasper: Good, I win this battle. Please Read and Review**


	4. Pain

**A/N: Sorry! I know that I havn't updated for in a while. I had a major writer's block. I didn't have a clue of what to write. I wrote this within two hours. So if it seems rushed or if I have the facts wrong, please tell me. Sorry again.**

**Me: Say it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't want to**

**Me: Do you want a cookie?**

**Disclaimer: Yes!**

**Me: Then say it.**

**Disclaimer: Fine! We don't own Twilight! Can I have my cookie now?**

**Me: Here you go!**

**This chapter was inspired by the song "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson**

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Bella's POV

"Hello Bella, what brings you to London?" Jasper asked.

"Long story." I replied with a sigh.

"Well, when do you get off?"

I looked at my watch.

"Right now." I said as my watch turned to five o'clock.

"Good, that means you have enough time to tell your story." Jasper smirked at me.

"Well, since you're so interested, I guess I have to." I said sarcastically, only making his smirk bigger.

"So you actually see sense." He joked.

"Hey, my instincts may be backwards but I have perfect logic."

"Okay, name one." Jasper taunted.

"Okay, people say to expect the unexpected but then wouldn't that just make the unexpected the expected?" I replied so fast I'm not sure if even Alice *wince* would understand.

"I'm the one with the super fast mind, and I didn't even get that." Jasper said confused.

"Good, then we're even."I grabbed a few books and my purse and walked out the door.

"Even for what?" Jasper seemed really confused. Super fast mind? Please.

"For everyone being faster than me." I sighed, thinking about how all the other Cullens probably forgot about me by now.

I looked back at Jasper to see him lost in thought. I thought about our conversation. He seemed more comfortable with me than the last time I saw him. Of course the last time I saw him, my whole arm was soaked in blood. It's not his fault that he lost control. He probably had five other vampire thirsts urging him on, plus one of those was the thirst for a singer. Oh no, he blames himself!

"It's not your fault." I said quietly. In the corner of my eye, I saw him look at me in shock.

"Yes it is. I feel the pain you feel, and it's worse to know it's my fault." Jasper replied quietly.

I wanted to retort, but decided against it. I would save this fight for later. I walked up to my small cottage just outside the outskirts of London. I opened the door and gestured to walk in. He looked uncertain but walked in. I led him into the living room, and I sat on the lounge chair and he sat on the sofa.

"You know, I always imagined you living in a cottage just like this one." Jasper said looking around, "Though, I would have thought that the colors would be brighter.

The room was small but simple. There were two bookshelves and tons of pictures lining the south wall, much like Carlisle's library, a large window on the west wall with a stereo underneath it, and a TV on against the north wall. Everything was in deep maroon and black colors.

"All the rooms have a dark color, along with black." I said, "There is a reason behind the colors. The dark maroon reminds me that vampires exist, and the black reminds me that most come out at night."

"We really messed up, didn't we?" Jasper asked.

"He-he left me in the woods. Right on the path. I was foolish enough to follow him," I said with a shaky breath, "I went into a catatonic state for months. The pain was all in my head but it was physical too. After one horrible night, I came up with a plan. To move here, a place where I would hopefully forget about you. Everything was set. Then the night before I was to leave, I told Charlie that I was leaving. He forbade me, and I told him he was basically murdering me by keeping me there. I told him I would kill myself if I didn't leave.

"He still forbade me to leave, so I left to my room and waited a while. Soon, Charlie was disabling my truck all part of the plan. I had a Datsun 1600 waiting down the road. So at midnight, I fled, never to look back." I had tears rolling down my eyes at the pain I caused my father.

"I have lived here ever since. I left that place because of the pain, the feeling of being trapped. But Jasper, the pain is still there, coming and pulling me down at unexpected times. The feeling of being trapped is still there, everywhere. I hate it! I hate that I'm still sad that he left me! I hate the feeling of being trapped with no way out! I can't stand it anymore!" I screamed. By now I was kneeling on the floor sobbing, clutching my chest like so many times before. I looked at Jasper and saw him looking at me with tears that would never fall.

"I know. I know. I feel your pain, I sense the hole in your chest. I know the feeling because…because… Alice felt me too." He said the last part so softly I barely hard him. I looked at him shocked as he put his face in his hands.

"But why Jasper?" I had to ask.

"She said that he made her happier. That there was nothing to be disgusted with. She couldn't stand living with me anymore and that she was going to leave me anyway. It only made her happier to see the pain on my face." He said.

"Love is like glass, fragile but beautiful. But like glass, it can shatter into so many pieces." I said quietly, "Two people broken by their loves, two hearts as fragile as a dove's. All they feel is pain, all their efforts have been in vain. Tears they have cried for far too long, how could their hearts have been so wrong?"

Jasper stared at me with an astonished expression. I looked at him confused. What had I done?

"That poem, where have you read it?"

"I just made it up. Why?"

"You made that up? That was beautiful. When did you think of it?" He asked me.

"I told you just now." I replied.

"So fast?"

"Well, I may not have a super fast mind, but my mind is fast enough." I replied shortly. Jasper looked at the clock.

"I have to go. Can I come back tomorrow?" Jasper asked with an expectant expression.

"Yes." I said smiling.

"Good." After that word, he disappeared.

I ate some dinner, and then went to my room. I wrote down the poem I made up and then wrote down another.

"_Love is like a flower, it only lasts an hour. The flower wilts, our world tilts. Love is lost within the dark, love is lost within our heart."_

**I hope this lived up to your expecations. The two poems in here were thought up my me. Jasper is a little happy at the beginning :). Sorry if I didn't discribe Bella's pain right. I kinda need ideas for the next few chapters. If you want to help me out send me something. Oh and please review. Jasper wants you to. **

**"Please?" Jasper gives puppy dog pout.**


	5. Dream

**Sorry for not updating sooner. I actually have a life outside of fanfiction. This one is short, because I have started writing a new story. Again sorry for not updating sooner and for it being so short.**

**I dont' own Twilight.**

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****Jasper's POV**

I left Bella's house quickly, promising I would return the next morning. I felt uneasy leaving her on her own. There was something about her that just seemed different. I wasn't just the fact that her emotions were borderline insane. Or she had surrounded herself in her memories of us. There was something very different about her. The thing that worries me is that she doesn't seem to know it.

**Bella's POV**

After writing the poem, I turned out my lamp and slid down into the cool sheets. Why did Alice leave Jasper? He must have been in so much pain. Much more pain than I could ever feel. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

_I opened my eyes to the blinding sun. I sat up. All around me was hot and dry. Off a little ways was a small house. I stood up and walked toward it. As I got closer I saw a woman in her twenties, with wavy blonde hair and light blue eyes, holding baby boy. The baby had blonde hair and deep blue eyes. _

_Walking toward the woman was another woman with a mystical aura around her. Her hair was near black, she was tall with hazel eyes that looked like they had star dust floating in them. She was carrying a baby girl with brown hair and brown eyes._

_"How is Jasper?" I gasped. The baby boy was Jasper!_

_"Good, quiet for once. How is Izzy?" Jasper's mother asked._

_"Fine, thank you." The mystical woman said._

_Suddenly, the picture swirled all around me. The pictures that came now were small flashes of Jasper and Izzy's lives. It showed them as children playing, and teens kissing. Finally it showed Jasper saying goodbye to Izzy before he left for the war. Next it showed Izzy being killed for speaking out of turn._

_Then, the pictures showed Jasper's entire life, human and vampire. They switched suddenly to my life, starting from a few days after my birth. I was being held by Charlie outside the Forks house._

_"Charlie? Who would leave such a precious child here?" Renee asked._

_"I'm not sure." Charlie mumbled._

_"Let keep her." Renee said. _

_I gasped; I wasn't Charlie and Renee's daughter! My real mother had given me up!_

_Flashes of my life came quickly and suddenly. Everything I had done appeared. The last scene showed Edward and me in the forest that day he left._

_"You…don't …want…me?" I stuttered. It was almost too horrible to watch._

_"No." Tears started flowing down my cheeks and I started sobbing._

_All around me went black._

_"He was never the one for you." A mysterious, calming voice said._

"Bella wake up."

_"You are not who you think you are." The voice said again._

"Bella. It's time to wake up."

_"You are the daughter of A-"I tried to stay in the dream but I could feel someone shaking me._

"Bella wake up!" I opened my eyes.

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**We were so close! Who do you think is Bella's mother, and how is Izzy tied into this? See if you can answer those questions. If I get ten reviews, in the next chapter I will give a sneak peak of the upcoming chapters. :)**


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